This week on Tumblr:
It’s a metaphor. You’re a metaphor. I’m a metaphor. Your keybord is a metaphor. Everything is a metaphor. The universe is turning into one giant metaphor on a molecular scale. Run. It’s too late.
And now… The weather.
Just bull things.
OKAY LET’S DO THIS
Every person who regblog this will have a pokemon egg on their submissions and a few days later a pokemon will hatch from the egg.
The pokemon will be submitted based on their blog, it may be shiny or even a legendary
(Have your submissions open and only reblog, likes does not count)
Not really a Sprite but it is pokemon related so I thought I’d give it a try :)
mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something
my dad has literally called me by his own name.
mermaid and human falling in love
This was recorded by the Portsmouth Sinfonia in an experiment where all the members of the orchestra would swap instruments with each other and attempt to play them to the best of their ability.
favorite things about this
- literally all the brass starts to get the hang of it and then the crescendos happen and everyone is like FUCK FUCK FUCK??? FUCK. JUST. BLOW RLY HARD.
- the strings are lazy but also the same. like u can tell a lot of the ppl w/ the stringed instruments may already basically know how to play stringed instruments. like there’s definitely a section at the beginning where you hear a good portion going “oh yeah this is like. a smaller/bigger version of what i do.”
- all you hear of any woodwinds is just “pffffttt??? pFFFTTTT???? PFFFFFTTTT I SAID PFFFFTTTT!!!!!” bc woodwinds are fucking HARD and you hear after like the first crescendo half of them just give up. they give up. they’re done. fuck this it tastes weird and my lips hurt.
- that trumpet. that person is fucking TRYING man they fucking GOT this. they may not have figured out notes but they figured out LOUD and they GOT this.
I JUST DIED
have u ever had a depersonalization moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and think wow this person is me and i have this body and this life and everything feels so strange why am i me and not someone else
So I got a detention today.
Which is kinda dumb because I’m (mostly) a model student, you know? And get this - Heres what Im in for: I said…*whispers* ~a swear word~ in class. 60 minutes of punishment for the phrase: “That’s really shitty.”
So this is how it went down: I’m sitting in math class last hour before break and my teacher hands me a little slip saying that i gotta go see the vice principal. And im thinking, “damn, i thought she forgot about that.” The horrible cuss word was uttered a few days beforehand and, well, i figured she didnt even remember. I walk down there (in my full-body cat kigurumi btw) and mrs. Whatever isnt there. So i mull around and steal a candy cane off the offices mini fake tree (Im already in trouble anyways so gotta go big or go home) until finally, i talk to the desk lady who calls the vice principal down. We walk into the room and start to have a chat about how our high school doesnt tolerate swears bluh bluh etc and that i should find alternatives to cussing. Thats where this picture comes in. This lady just fucking WHIPS this goddamn list out of nowhere and shows it to me in a completely serious manner. “Heres some examples of words you can use when you want to swear.” W H A T.
And here she is in all seriousness and im trying not to laugh while asking if i can have a photocopy because this is actual comedic GOLD. This sort of phooey doesnt actually happen in real life, right? I mean holy snappin turtles what the frog is this Skikaka? Jumpin Jiminy, Public school is bogus!EDIT: A few people were confused as to why some of the phrases were crossed out. Apparently the vice principal found this list online and deemed those words to be too “inappropriate”. She also told me to circle which word I was going to use from now on, which explains why “pokemon” is surrounded in red pen.
SON OF A POKEMON
WHAT IN THE WILLIAM SHATNER IS GOING ON HERE?
Why the fuck is “pickle farts” crossed out?? Pickle farts is genius
Let’s be frank,
we’re all creepy strangers on the internet that don’t know shit about each other.
Reblog with your birthday so your followers know when to send you some nice birthday themed hate mail!
I’ve recently stumbled upon a beautiful new Etsy shop and thought I’d do a little feature just to share it with all of you.
Unity Design Conceptsis a small business run out of Albuquerque, New Mexico that specializes in showing the beauty in unity between your Zodiac signs.
These lovely necklaces are just some of the items available on their website.
Pictures above are sourced to the Etsy page. Below are the main site, Etsy, and Facebook pages.
TROLL SHIPPING OTP NECKLACES
THEY HAVE AN ENTIRE SHIPPING CHART.
THE PICTURES ABOVE GOT THE POPULAR SHIPS RIGHT I’M GONNA